Dear beloved, adored, and endeared subscribers,
Since today is valentine’s day, and since more of us than not, regardless of our relationship status, have been living in a state of deep loneliness for far too long, I wanted to send out this email and share some of my personal insights and suggestions.
I’d like to first strongly recommend watching two videos. The first is a very dark yet powerful BBC documentary on loneliness that can be found here: https://www.youtube.com/
Love, loneliness, toxicity & detoxification
Over the past few months I came across and worked with people wanting to heal their loved ones, such as a parent wanting to heal their autistic child, or a wife wanting to heal her husband and vice versa. However what I very rarely saw was love. Instead, what I really saw was a selfish, deep fear of being left alone, a strong need for control, and a complete lack of empathy. What we usually think of as love is nothing more than neediness, attachment, a fear of being alone, and an intense, borderline unrecoverable, addiction to someone else.
Love is something for which there are prerequisites, one of which is a truly clean and healthy brain, heart, and body. Another is the ability to love ourselves, which is much harder when we are toxic, sick, and constipated.
One of the things that made me deeply value and appreciate becoming healthier and less toxic, is that it made me far more attractive, lovable, alive, and pleasant, and more importantly, it gave me the capacity to truly love someone else, receive love, be deeply passionate, and have compassion. Most importantly, however, I was able to love and forgive myself, feel love and compassion towards myself, and just feel good about myself, all of which are things I never really had when I was toxic and unhealthy.
A third prerequisite for love is awareness. Many of us have done an impeccable job clogging up our lives with absolutely stupid shit that doesn’t move us any closer to who we want to be or make us any happier in the long-term, and then wrapped it all up with clever excuses to beautifully justify wasting our lives away. One of the things that can happen when we truly transform our health (which is not at all done by eating vegetables or going to the gym, but by addressing the core causes of our downfall such as heavy metal toxicity, parasites, candida or yeast infection, plastic toxins, bacterial infections like lyme, mold, etc., and is a journey that can take months to years) is that we start to have an extremely heightened awareness. Our brain is crystal clear; we see things for what they are, we see the games we’ve been playing with ourselves all along, and we can no longer keep bullshitting ourselves. We question what we do, and we can no longer allow ourselves to sabotage ourselves or burn our lives away doing meaningless things.
All of us have ugly and dark places within ourselves, but we also have deeply, intensely, and overwhelmingly beautiful places within ourselves. Sadly, most of us are blind to both the ugly and the beautiful, because we’ve just been drunk on the toxins in our brain and heart for far too long. It’s only once we become aware of those places within us, and have the ability to visit them and stay there for long enough, and really get in touch with both the ugly and the beautiful within us, will our ability to truly and fully experience love blossom and flourish. Without a clean brain and body, such awareness is not possible, and we’ll just remain stuck in the bullshit that we think of as love, riddled with the fear of being alone, rejected, abandoned, or left alone.
A fourth prerequisite for love is the ability to let go. Our ability to love can be completely overridden by feelings of shame, guilt, self-hate, fear, jealousy, and a driving need for the approval of mommy and daddy and others around us, and then on top of all that, an all-encapsulating guilt over having those feelings in the first place. Most of us, just by the inevitable virtue of being human, have done things in our past that we regret doing or been through emotionally traumatizing events that gave birth to those feelings. If we are toxic, deficient, and sick, we are less able to forgive ourselves and truly let those things go, unidentify with them, fully accept them, be in peace with them, understand that we had no or far less control than we think over them, and, know that it’s all an inescapable part of being human. Instead, we remain stuck in a constant, never-ending, nested loop of living and reliving and experiencing and re-experiencing those events and feelings over and over again for years and years until we wither away and overcook our soul and our heart, raping away any capacity we have for true love and forgiveness, and genuine sexual desire.
There is an immense sense of freedom, relief, and power, and a whole new dimension of true health and love, that can only be experienced and felt when we can forgive others in our life. But, what I found out is that, only when we truly love ourselves, can we have the capacity to forgive, and, the healthier we are, the more likely we are to love ourselves, and the more toxic and unhealthy we are, the more likely we are to hate ourselves and find ourselves unable to forgive others, wanting to hold on to our hate forever, going on for years and decades never able to access the ocean of love that lies within us.
A toxic brain will hold on and never let go. A clean brain can let go, forget, overcome, forgive, and love.
Valentine’s day is just a day. There are truly, deeply beautiful things that we can experience and do and celebrate every single day of our lives. Sadly, most of us are always under the influence of the toxin, having our perceptions altered, our visions blinded, and our priorities reversed, unable to see or experience the euphoric supernova of being alive and truly healthy, awash with gratitude, wealthy with tears of joy, a wholesale love dealer giving it all away for free. Instead we became addicts desperately seeking the next hit of affection, acceptance, and approval.
Loneliness at its core is us being separated from who we truly are and who we want to be. Most of us can’t even have a relationship with ourselves because we’re constantly, unknowingly fighting a losing war against the unknown toxins and organisms invading our brains, hearts and souls, the casualties of which are courage, honesty, self-esteem, inner peace, integrity, openness, calmness, passion, inspiration, motivation, and sexual fire; a war that keeps us from giving and receiving love, and from pursuing and having a true, loving, intimate relationship with someone else, leaving us drowning in unbearable loneliness, occupied by uncontrollable negative thoughts and feelings.
Detox Is The Way.
I hope that we all, one day, land on the land of the truly free, on the other side where the grass is truly greener, nourished, detoxified, unleaded, and truly healed, with toxins out of our body, nutrients and medicines in our stomach, and suppositories up our ass, overflowing with love, passion, gratitude, and, peace.
And, I hope this email has sweetened up your day. I dedicate it to the absolutely, infinitely beautiful human being in the room next to me, and, to you.
I love you.